I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
