What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
