We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
