It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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