never play flip cup with pint glasses
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
