I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
