I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
