it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Randomize
