Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
