Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
