you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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