were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
