so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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