also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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