I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
