Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
