if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize