My nipple is on Facebook.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
