Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
