If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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