my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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