If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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