Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
