I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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