So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
