Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize