im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
