Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
