mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
