i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
