You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
