You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
