the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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