i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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