What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
