is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
