Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
