i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
