What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do vagina's smell?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
