Do you still have your period?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
