i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
