so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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