I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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