with your own penis?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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