We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
