I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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