is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
