My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
