i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
