I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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