Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
