Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
