I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
