i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize
