No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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