Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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