just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
