I hate all girls vehemently.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize