i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
