Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
did i walk over a car last night?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
