8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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