You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
