capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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